Step one: Pull the cork on your winery’s award-winning Pinot Noir.
Step two: Fail to test the wine for flaws prior to pouring or test the wine and fail to notice flaws.
Step three: Pour two-thirds of the bottle to other tasting room guests (title shift, “How to Lose a Silly Number of Sales”).
Step four: Pour award-winning wine, while gloating over the award.
Step five: Fail to acknowledge a flaw (cork taint, aka TCA) when guest, backed by group of four other tasters, states the wine is corked. More specifically, taste the wine in question in front of the guest, then tell the guest that she is wrong. Do so while holding the questioned bottle, which now contains three ounces of award-winning Pinot Noir.
Step six: Admit to minimal wine experience during your time talking with this group.
Mission accomplished. Take a bow.